


Green, Green Grass of Home

by CaptainAwesome242



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Star Trek: Into Darkness Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 13:24:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11014332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainAwesome242/pseuds/CaptainAwesome242
Summary: And I realize, yes, I was only dreaming.





	Green, Green Grass of Home

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by 'Green, Green Grass of Home' as sung by Tom Jones

Riverside still looks the same. 

Jim finds it bizarre that after everything that's happened, events that have changed him immeasurably, his hometown can still look the same. It's a relief in some ways that the horrors he has faced have not touched this little farm town, that it remains unscathed.

His boots leave imprints in the dusty road as his eyes scan over the vast fields. He's forgotten how green this place is. Jim has never much liked the colour green, in fact it is his least favourite. It is the colour of Riverside, the place symbolic of his dead-end life before Starfleet. It is the colour of his dress shirt, the tight and itchy shirt worn only when Jim has to face up to being a Captain and represent his crew. It is the colour of Spock's blood, something Jim hates to see, especially in vast quantities. 

The silence wasn't oppressive, but this place was far stiller than Jim remembered it being. There was barely a breeze, and despite the sun beating down from the clear sky Jim wasn't sweating, in fact he felt quite cool. 

Suddenly there is a noise, Jim can't quite put his finger on it until. . . There! Speeding down the dirt track is a hot red Corvette, not unlike the one he'd driven into the quarry all those years ago. In fact, as it draws closer Jim recognises the driver to be his twelve year old self, his defiant scream almost drowned out by the radio playing at full volume. 

Jim, the elder Jim, stares after the car and the cop that sped after him. He squints, he wonders if he should be concerned that he's just watched his former self drive past him and yet he feels a sense of calm wash over him, a feeling of reassurance and right. 

He turns to continue walking down the track only to dodge out of the way as his fifteen year old self comes storming past, bag slung over his shoulder and a look of fierce determination on his face. Jim remembers this, this was the first time he ran away. He'd grabbed his school bag, stuffed the nearest few items into it and marched out of the door, closely followed by Uncle Frank. Sure enough as Jim looks up his uncle is following his younger self, hollering abuse. Jim watches after them for a moment before carrying on his walk towards the house - he knows how this plays out. He knows Frank gets bored and goes home, he knows he packed little of use into that bag and will try to sleep in the next field over, he knows he will be found and dragged back to Frank later that evening, knows the beating that will follow. 

The sound of another engine brings Jim's attention back to the road just in time to see seventeen year old Jim ride past on a motorcycle with a girl on the back. Neither wear helmets and he drives way above the limit. He was drunk, Jim remembers, they both were, and he'd borrowed his father's old motorcycle to impress her and to get them to a place where they could be alone together. She was the first girl he'd ever loved, although he realises now that love is completely the wrong word for it. The pair of them were young, hot and horny, and each what the other wanted. They shared a passionate two weeks together before they broke it off - Jim discovered she had been cheating. He'd been bitter and heartbroken, but he'd soon gotten over it - there were plenty of other girls in this dead-end town.

Jim snorts without humour, he hadn't enjoyed his life around the first time, and these snippets were just cementing his hatred for this town - why was he here again?

The same motorcycle speeds past, this time it is twenty year old Jim at the handlebars. He is wasted, he's doing stunts on his bike to impress the gaggle of girls who chase after him. Jim doesn't need to watch to know how this turns out but he does anyway. The younger Jim pulls the front wheel up and rides on the back wheel for a few moments before the front wheel touches down, he loses control, and ploughs straight into Mr Allen's tool shed. It took him weeks to heal, and to repair the damage, and in that time the girls had all found someone else to fawn over.

Jim rolls his eyes and starts to walk again. The same bike rides past one final time: Jim is twenty five, there is blood on his shirt, his face is bruised and his nose broken. He is leaving for the last shuttle to Starfleet Academy. Jim watches him go as he leaves Riverside for the last time. It was the first step in a marathon for Jim to go from the person on the bike to the man he is now, so changed and yet still him. He watches as his former self rides to his destiny. Jim snorts, he's glad Bones isn't here, he's never said anything so corny in his life.

Jim faces forward once again and finds himself walking up the path to his old house. It hasn't changed a bit: the paint is still cracked and flaking; his bedroom window upstairs is still wedged open where he snuck out and it got stuck; the back door is propped up where the hinges rusted off and Frank never replaced them. This is the same house alright. The same house Jim spent his whole life running from. 

He chooses not to go inside. He's not scared, but that part of his life is over. Still, as he walks past the old building he can hear shouting coming from the open windows. Arguments between Sam and Frank, between himself and Frank at various ages. He tries to ignore it, instead counting his steps up to the large oak tree behind the house. Over the half a mile distance between the house and the tree he loses the voices, the silence once again taking over. 

Though the tree is still as immense as he remembers the first few branches seem closer to the ground. He used to play on this tree almost every day with Sam; they'd play pirates, explorers, you name it. 

But then Sam started to grow up, and after he ran away Jim never played on the tree anymore. 

He runs his fingers over the bark, lingers on the carvings Sam engraved with the kitchen knife.

After a quick glance behind him he grabs hold of the nearest branch and begins to climb the tree. Despite the glaring heat Jim doesn't break a sweat, the climb is effortless, easy. Until a great wall of pain overtakes his body, the sudden impact causing him to lose his grip and plummet to the ground.

~~~

When his eyes open a moment later, though they were never closed, he is met with the sight of four grey walls bathed in a deep red light. Through the window of the wall he is slumped against he sees Spock crouched before him, tears running down his pale face. Jim wishes with all his might for Spock to stop crying, for himself to stop crying. He wants the comfort of his friend wants to be held and reassured that yes, the situation seems dire and yes you just watched your life flash past your eyes but it's okay because you're not going to die. 

Jim reaches for Spock with his remaining energy, only for his hand to slap against the thick glass. An inch-thick wall between him and the last face he will ever see. His eyes continue to run and his throat works sluggishly to say everything he wants to his First Officer, but no words pass his lips. He despairs as Spock's face begins to blur, the room around him begins to fade, and darkness took over.

~~~

There were two ceremonies.

Starfleet pulled out all the stops to celebrate the life of the man who saved the Earth once again, who selflessly risked it all and lost. There were big speeches from Admirals who'd never met the Captain and the whole thing was broadcast across the Federation.

The second ceremony was a quiet affair.

A small wooden tombstone was set in the ground at the base of the old oak tree behind the Kirk residence in Riverside, Iowa. It was a small turnout, by invitation only. Jim's mother, of course, and her eldest son Sam stood together, an unspoken truce between them. Spock had his arm looped through Nyota's in an attempt to comfort her, though he struggled greatly to keep his own tears at bay. Leonard crossed his arms and glared at the little headstone, as if willing his friend back to life. Hikaru had his arms around Pavel's shoulders as the boy sobbed silently into the older man's chest. Scotty and Carol stood to the other side, not touching though drawing comfort from the other's proximity.

As the group headed back towards the house Spock lingered a moment. He noticed the carvings on the tree trunk behind his best friend's headstone and went to investigate. He ran his fingers over the bark, lingering over Jim's name, before turning and following behind the procession.


End file.
